How many times do nurses wash their hands?
As many times as Brain makes escape plans.
If I would have thought of investing in soap
I wouldn’t be here cleaning poop like a dope.
A growing collection of funny or emotional poems that I write about my daily nursing experiences. Read, chuckle, relate, enjoy! 
Tag: Working long hours
What its like trying to fix terrible Nurses Staffing:
Its like taking handwriting lessons from the Parkinson’s Club president.
Its like getting 40 select all that apply on a critical care test.
Its like trying to get an IV in a man that was just rescued from the desert.
Its like learning utensil handling mastery from the Parkinson’s Clubs provost.
Its like taking hygiene tips from frequent flyers in the ER.
Its like trying to place a Foley in a patient with severe contractures.
Its so very frustrating to get good nursing staffing
I wish our request weren’t met like we’re new jeans chaffing.
So please Staffing next time we call.
Please allow us some more nurses, or accept all the falls.
NursingPoems.com
Nurses Week 2015, Thank You Nurses!
Nurses week is an exciting peak!
It’s a time to Nurses that is unique.
Today we celebrate your daily caring,
And your grand amazingness we are declaring!
Thank you for all you do everyday,
For how much you care and the kind things you say.
Thank you for caring for our family and loved ones,
From our hearts to yours, WE LOVE NURSES TONS!
NursingPoems.com
Please, Tie the Restrains Right!
Hey there FRIEND! You are terrible at putting on restraints
You know, on the guy that ain’t acting like a jolly saint?
So now he pulled out his central line
and has blood flowing out like the river Rhine.
What the heck!? How hard is it tying ONE knot?
Its just a loop with a loose end that plops.
I want to scream, its the end of my shift
And now I have to deal with this rift!
Next time, think before you leave the room,
“What actions do I take so the nurse doesn’t fume?”
NursingPoems.com
What it’s Like to Work Short Staffed, RN
Its like climbing a wall without Spider Man powers
Or tying your shoes for hours and hours.
Its like eating ten bowls of flaming hot curry
Or trying to convince OJ’s grand jury.
Its like riding a bike with two flat tires
Or doing jumping jacks near open wires.
Its like cutting yarn with safety scissors
Or running naked in a cold dark blizzard.
NursingPoems.com
Nurse Will Work for Bacon
Tired nurse will work for bacon:
Walking and walking, oh my feet hurt
I feel I’ve aged 20 years and live in a yurt.
It’s always so painful to be on my feet
For 14 hours and never have a seat.
At least the shifts almost over
And I can rest my dogs, one I even named Rover.
So I lift ’em up, relax and recline
Perhaps next thing I’ll do is eat greasy strips of swine.
NursingPoems.com