Bed bugs are much like gum on my shoe
Awful and ugly like old cold fondue.
I wish I could kill them with mace or a knife
Sadly they have a lengthy shelf life.
They sit and they wait for darkness to set
And spring on those unaware and upset.
Like Tiggers from fairy tales they bounce all around
And follow you swiftly like a trusty blood hound.
NursingPoems.com
Funny Poems About Nursing RN
A growing collection of funny or emotional poems that I write about my daily nursing experiences. Read, chuckle, relate, enjoy!
Wonderful Lives as Nurses
What lives we live as nurses
Our many days off with fat full purses.
To do that though we must be brave.
We must daily pull on trousers and slave
To clean all the poop from head to toe
From Betty to George and John to Joe.
It’s not easy what we do everyday.
Not a break do we get if something’s astray.
“More coffee! More pills! My mom needs a bath!”
Its with each morning we trudge this winding warpath.
With smiles on faces and great counterparts
We bravely enjoy this work in our hearts.
NursingPoems.com
Nursing School’s Joy is the End
Finishing semesters in school is the best feeling
Like a pig in the mud, I just might start squealing!
No more papers to write or things to turn in
Or crappy assignments from crap to gold I spin.
Soon I will rest and in the quietness caress
The thought that one day school will be over
And I will into the workforce crossover.
I will turn into Scrooge, hoarding my money
My disposition will be so much brighter and sunny.
NursingPoems.com
Sickening C Diff
C diff runs like a river wide
Swallowing healthy bowels in large stride.
For me, C diff just makes me gag,
It smells like 10 rats dead in a bag.
So vomit I do, a bit in my throat
And try not to look seasick like on a boat.
My patient asks “What’s wrong with you nurse?”
And I simply smile and try to converse.
So C diff I hope this Vanco kills you
I’ll be first in line to wish you ‘Adieu!’
NursingPoems.com
The Dance of the Clot
The clotting cascade is like learning to dance,
Factor VIII to X like a great romance.
So many steps to learn and recall,
Good thing your body has them all.
NursingPoems.com
Patho is Painful
Studying Pathology is like walking through sand,
It’s the toughest subject in all the land.
After we’re through we’ll be smart eggs
Our brain will be full like we drank four kegs.
So keep studying Patho it’s so good for you nurse,
Soon you’ll see reason and not be averse.
As pathology is so important in practice
With it’s knowledge you’ll keep your license blackless.
NursingPoems.com
Please, Tie the Restrains Right!
Hey there FRIEND! You are terrible at putting on restraints
You know, on the guy that ain’t acting like a jolly saint?
So now he pulled out his central line
and has blood flowing out like the river Rhine.
What the heck!? How hard is it tying ONE knot?
Its just a loop with a loose end that plops.
I want to scream, its the end of my shift
And now I have to deal with this rift!
Next time, think before you leave the room,
“What actions do I take so the nurse doesn’t fume?”
NursingPoems.com
Why Do Patients Smell!?
Man! Were you raised by wolves?
Your clothes and hair are full of weevils.
Its like a bath for you is ancient practice
To get you clean we’d need a loofah made of cactus.
Time to take you to the shower and clean you off
Hopefully you don’t plug up any drain troughs.
Dead skin is in the air like swirling dust
Pardon me as I throw up in my mouth with great disgust
NursingPoems.com
Why Nurses Hate Stool!
Please when you defecate in your bed
Keep it contained, don’t let it spread.
I mean, It’s not like you pooping flowers
It’s more like logs of terror from the butt of Bowser
More like a mudslide in Indonesia
It makes me hate Milk of Magnesia.
So avoid it I shall for Mario I am not
I’d much rather before a drug test, smoke pot.
For playing with stool is for the crazy patients,
Definitely not for men who want good female relations.
What it’s Like to Work Short Staffed, RN
Its like climbing a wall without Spider Man powers
Or tying your shoes for hours and hours.
Its like eating ten bowls of flaming hot curry
Or trying to convince OJ’s grand jury.
Its like riding a bike with two flat tires
Or doing jumping jacks near open wires.
Its like cutting yarn with safety scissors
Or running naked in a cold dark blizzard.
NursingPoems.com