COVID COVID you shall die!
We as nurses shall make you FLY!
Go away and never return
Our patients shall recover, on this we are firm!
NursingPoems.com
A growing collection of funny or emotional poems that I write about my daily nursing experiences. Read, chuckle, relate, enjoy! 
Category: Hospital Work
Very Intractable Headache
Wow, your headache sounds so overpowering!
It stops you from doing anything but cowering.
You know a solution you say?
This solution will help make your headache go away?
What’s that? Caffeine doesn’t work, nor Toradol or Tylenol
You say that you have tried it all?
Oh I see! The only thing that works for you is Morphine!
That makes sense, I see what you mean.
Just make sure to visit the ER weekly for treatment
We don’t want you to miss your perfect attendance achievement!
NursingPoems.com
Too Many Complaints!
Oh my! If you have one more problem,
My anger will truly blossom
Are you here for a rash or a sinus infection!?
It’s hard to tell even with my great detection!
So if you come to the office again
Please keep you problems plain
So I don’t go insane
And pop my forehead vein
NursingPoems.com
Saving Lives is Hard Work!
My patient! You almost died!
Your tele rang off and sent nurses a fly!
Heart stopped and lungs stalled
we started pumping your chest as ones enthralled
with the thrill of the moment of saving a life,
one we don’t get in this world of strife.
Pump, pump we pumped away!
Like reindeer working at Santas sleigh.
Alarms were ringing, doctors yelling.
Come back would you? There was no way of telling.
Sudden in the quiet moment,
when the air was still and success at foment
you came back to life, a daisy out the snow,
like a phoenix born anew you filled with life aglow!
Off to the unit you were rushed,
and in your place left a quiet hush
of an empty room of a life just saved,
together, nurses goodbye we waved.
NursingPoems.com
How Do Nurses Feel After Working a Long Hard Shift?
I feel like I just broke a world record for staying on my feet for the longest time in a day.
I feel like Dansko got revenge on me and filled my shoes with cement.
I feel like I just did yoga in an automatic car wash between the scrubbing spinny brushes.
I feel like I spent 12 hours on a medieval rack with a scorned lover at the cranks.
I feel like I roller skated for the first time in 15 years with teens listening to blaring Celine Dion.
I feel like I did the first 3 days of P90X at once.
I feel like a crazed Italian dragged my legs through a noodle maker.
I feel like I just had to push 10 syringes of D50 in a row.
I feel like my entire team was made up of gremlins on amphetamines.
NursingPoems.com
Thank You for Walking Through Poo
Thank you nurses for all that you do
Even for walking through piles of poo.
Its not easy being a nurse right now
It’s not like each day you take a bow.
No one is cheering or singing your praises
Or as you leave shouting thankful phrases.
It’s the selfless work you do for patients
That makes us hold you in such high station.
Thank you! Thank you! We all say!
We hope you have a wonderful day!
NursingPoems.com
Bed Bug Disdain
Bed bugs are much like gum on my shoe
Awful and ugly like old cold fondue.
I wish I could kill them with mace or a knife
Sadly they have a lengthy shelf life.
They sit and they wait for darkness to set
And spring on those unaware and upset.
Like Tiggers from fairy tales they bounce all around
And follow you swiftly like a trusty blood hound.
NursingPoems.com
Wonderful Lives as Nurses
What lives we live as nurses
Our many days off with fat full purses.
To do that though we must be brave.
We must daily pull on trousers and slave
To clean all the poop from head to toe
From Betty to George and John to Joe.
It’s not easy what we do everyday.
Not a break do we get if something’s astray.
“More coffee! More pills! My mom needs a bath!”
Its with each morning we trudge this winding warpath.
With smiles on faces and great counterparts
We bravely enjoy this work in our hearts.
NursingPoems.com
Please, Tie the Restrains Right!
Hey there FRIEND! You are terrible at putting on restraints
You know, on the guy that ain’t acting like a jolly saint?
So now he pulled out his central line
and has blood flowing out like the river Rhine.
What the heck!? How hard is it tying ONE knot?
Its just a loop with a loose end that plops.
I want to scream, its the end of my shift
And now I have to deal with this rift!
Next time, think before you leave the room,
“What actions do I take so the nurse doesn’t fume?”
NursingPoems.com
Why Do Patients Smell!?
Man! Were you raised by wolves?
Your clothes and hair are full of weevils.
Its like a bath for you is ancient practice
To get you clean we’d need a loofah made of cactus.
Time to take you to the shower and clean you off
Hopefully you don’t plug up any drain troughs.
Dead skin is in the air like swirling dust
Pardon me as I throw up in my mouth with great disgust
NursingPoems.com