How Do Nurses Feel After Working a Long Hard Shift?

I feel like I just broke a world record for staying on my feet for the longest time in a day.
I feel like Dansko got revenge on me and filled my shoes with cement.
I feel like I just did yoga in an automatic car wash between the scrubbing spinny brushes.
I feel like I spent 12 hours on a medieval rack with a scorned lover at the cranks.
I feel like I roller skated for the first time in 15 years with teens listening to blaring Celine Dion.
I feel like I did the first 3 days of P90X at once.
I feel like a crazed Italian dragged my legs through a noodle maker.
I feel like I just had to push 10 syringes of D50 in a row.
I feel like my entire team was made up of gremlins on amphetamines.

NursingPoems.com

Please, Tie the Restrains Right!

Hey there FRIEND!  You are terrible at putting on restraints
You know, on the guy that ain’t acting like a jolly saint?
So now he pulled out his central line
and has blood flowing out like the river Rhine.
What the heck!?  How hard is it tying ONE knot?
Its just a loop with a loose end that plops.
I want to scream, its the end of my shift
And now I have to deal with this rift!
Next time, think before you leave the room,
“What actions do I take so the nurse doesn’t fume?”

NursingPoems.com

What it’s Like to Work Short Staffed, RN

Its like climbing a wall without Spider Man powers
Or tying your shoes for hours and hours.
Its like eating ten bowls of flaming hot curry
Or trying to convince OJ’s grand jury.

Its like riding a bike with two flat tires
Or doing jumping jacks near open wires.
Its like cutting yarn with safety scissors
Or running naked in a cold dark blizzard.

NursingPoems.com

Slow Discharge

Discharge is not ready,
Yes I know the Doc said you are free already!
However, I have paperwork to do for you
So please hold up and I will soon be through

NursingPoems.com