C diff runs like a river wide Swallowing healthy bowels in large stride. For me, C diff just makes me gag, It smells like 10 rats dead in a bag. So vomit I do, a bit in my throat And try not to look seasick like on a boat. My patient asks “What’s wrong with you nurse?” And I simply smile and try to converse. So C diff I hope this Vanco kills you I’ll be first in line to wish you ‘Adieu!’
My patient! You almost died! Your tele rang off and sent nurses a fly! Heart stopped and lungs stalled we started pumping your chest as ones enthralled with the thrill of the moment of saving a life, one we don’t get in this world of strife.
Pump, pump we pumped away! Like reindeer working at Santas sleigh. Alarms were ringing, doctors yelling. Come back would you? There was no way of telling. Sudden in the quiet moment, when the air was still and success at foment you came back to life, a daisy out the snow, like a phoenix born anew you filled with life aglow!
Off to the unit you were rushed, and in your place left a quiet hush of an empty room of a life just saved, together, nurses goodbye we waved.
I feel like I just broke a world record for staying on my feet for the longest time in a day. I feel like Dansko got revenge on me and filled my shoes with cement. I feel like I just did yoga in an automatic car wash between the scrubbing spinny brushes. I feel like I spent 12 hours on a medieval rack with a scorned lover at the cranks. I feel like I roller skated for the first time in 15 years with teens listening to blaring Celine Dion. I feel like I did the first 3 days of P90X at once. I feel like a crazed Italian dragged my legs through a noodle maker. I feel like I just had to push 10 syringes of D50 in a row. I feel like my entire team was made up of gremlins on amphetamines.
SCDs like the lord of the land, They squash out clots before they can even stand. Like small critters running, clots disappear For SCDs keep watch like a burly musketeer. ‘Pump, Pump, Pump!’ SCDs repeat as they prepare to crush every DVT they meet.
The countdown begins like New Years Eve, Twelve more hours until we can leave. Gone will be 17, the one who won’t stop yelling Who many patients wish the nurses would STAT start quelling. Gone will be the family that won’t stop asking questions The one I really just want to give a four letter suggestion. Soon I will be free as a hind upon the mountain top Hoping the next three days off will never end or stop.
Die, C diff die! You turn to shamble our patients. Diarrhea and excoriation are your foundations. To fight you like a Bleach Knight, we shall wash hands with delight And die like a Dragon you will with a sword in you tight! ‘Huzzah! Huzzah!’ As one we all shouted, Your death made immortal in great songs undoubted