My patient! You almost died!
Your tele rang off and sent nurses a fly!
Heart stopped and lungs stalled
we started pumping your chest as ones enthralled
with the thrill of the moment of saving a life,
one we don’t get in this world of strife.
Pump, pump we pumped away!
Like reindeer working at Santas sleigh.
Alarms were ringing, doctors yelling.
Come back would you? There was no way of telling.
Sudden in the quiet moment,
when the air was still and success at foment
you came back to life, a daisy out the snow,
like a phoenix born anew you filled with life aglow!
Off to the unit you were rushed,
and in your place left a quiet hush
of an empty room of a life just saved,
together, nurses goodbye we waved.
I feel like I just broke a world record for staying on my feet for the longest time in a day.
I feel like Dansko got revenge on me and filled my shoes with cement.
I feel like I just did yoga in an automatic car wash between the scrubbing spinny brushes.
I feel like I spent 12 hours on a medieval rack with a scorned lover at the cranks.
I feel like I roller skated for the first time in 15 years with teens listening to blaring Celine Dion.
I feel like I did the first 3 days of P90X at once.
I feel like a crazed Italian dragged my legs through a noodle maker.
I feel like I just had to push 10 syringes of D50 in a row.
I feel like my entire team was made up of gremlins on amphetamines.
Hey there FRIEND! You are terrible at putting on restraints
You know, on the guy that ain’t acting like a jolly saint?
So now he pulled out his central line
and has blood flowing out like the river Rhine.
What the heck!? How hard is it tying ONE knot?
Its just a loop with a loose end that plops.
I want to scream, its the end of my shift
And now I have to deal with this rift!
Next time, think before you leave the room,
“What actions do I take so the nurse doesn’t fume?”
Tired nurse will work for bacon:
Walking and walking, oh my feet hurt
I feel I’ve aged 20 years and live in a yurt.
It’s always so painful to be on my feet
For 14 hours and never have a seat.
At least the shifts almost over
And I can rest my dogs, one I even named Rover.
So I lift ’em up, relax and recline
Perhaps next thing I’ll do is eat greasy strips of swine.
The countdown begins like New Years Eve,
Twelve more hours until we can leave.
Gone will be 17, the one who won’t stop yelling
Who many patients wish the nurses would STAT start quelling.
Gone will be the family that won’t stop asking questions
The one I really just want to give a four letter suggestion.
Soon I will be free as a hind upon the mountain top
Hoping the next three days off will never end or stop.