Why Do Patients Smell!?

Man!  Were you raised by wolves?
Your clothes and hair are full of weevils.
Its like a bath for you is ancient practice
To get you clean we’d need a loofah made of cactus.

Time to take you to the shower and clean you off
Hopefully you don’t plug up any drain troughs.
Dead skin is in the air like swirling dust
Pardon me as I throw up in my mouth with great disgust

NursingPoems.com

SCDs are King and Lovenox Queen

SCDs are King and Lovenox Queen
Of the land they reign that is DVT clean.
‘Clot clean!’ is their motto, one for all to hear.
Its one all clots should fear, a land they should never be near.
For if clots set foot in Clot Cleanville they will surely be lysed
As C diff after the use of many bleach wipes.
So nurses, create for your patients a Clot Clean life
For they will be merry and enjoy much less strife.

NursingPoems.com

C Diff Slain like a Dragon

Die, C diff die! You turn to shamble our patients.
Diarrhea and excoriation are your foundations.
To fight you like a Bleach Knight, we shall wash hands with delight
And die like a Dragon you will with a sword in you tight!
‘Huzzah! Huzzah!’ As one we all shouted,
Your death made immortal in great songs undoubted

NursingPoems.com

C Diff’s Death Knell

C diff, C diff, like the scourge of the earth
You stick and you wait in your spore to give birth.
Undaunted by cleaners of regular variety
Only does bleach give you fear or anxiety.
Once born you are tough like hardy shoe leather,
And you cause diarrhea and ulcers together.
But beware C diff, your day is coming
When bleach flows as rain and your death knell starts thrumming.
So watch out for bleach wipes, it’s your devastation,
For then we can cry, ‘C diff is dead!’ with great jubilation!

NursingPoems.com

Too Much Stool

Old people are fun to learn from and I love their laughter
However, they aren’t always fun to clean up after
With a toot and plop the bed is messy too much for a mop
It’s like a river. It never, stops.

NursingPoems.com