C diff runs like a river wide
Swallowing healthy bowels in large stride.
For me, C diff just makes me gag,
It smells like 10 rats dead in a bag.
So vomit I do, a bit in my throat
And try not to look seasick like on a boat.
My patient asks “What’s wrong with you nurse?”
And I simply smile and try to converse.
So C diff I hope this Vanco kills you
I’ll be first in line to wish you ‘Adieu!’
How many times do nurses wash their hands?
As many times as Brain makes escape plans.
If I would have thought of investing in soap
I wouldn’t be here cleaning poop like a dope.
Please when you defecate in your bed
Keep it contained, don’t let it spread.
I mean, It’s not like you pooping flowers
It’s more like logs of terror from the butt of Bowser
More like a mudslide in Indonesia
It makes me hate Milk of Magnesia.
So avoid it I shall for Mario I am not
I’d much rather before a drug test, smoke pot.
For playing with stool is for the crazy patients,
Definitely not for men who want good female relations.
SCDs are King and Lovenox Queen
Of the land they reign that is DVT clean.
‘Clot clean!’ is their motto, one for all to hear.
Its one all clots should fear, a land they should never be near.
For if clots set foot in Clot Cleanville they will surely be lysed
As C diff after the use of many bleach wipes.
So nurses, create for your patients a Clot Clean life
For they will be merry and enjoy much less strife.
Die, C diff die! You turn to shamble our patients.
Diarrhea and excoriation are your foundations.
To fight you like a Bleach Knight, we shall wash hands with delight
And die like a Dragon you will with a sword in you tight!
‘Huzzah! Huzzah!’ As one we all shouted,
Your death made immortal in great songs undoubted
C diff, C diff, like the scourge of the earth
You stick and you wait in your spore to give birth.
Undaunted by cleaners of regular variety
Only does bleach give you fear or anxiety.
Once born you are tough like hardy shoe leather,
And you cause diarrhea and ulcers together.
But beware C diff, your day is coming
When bleach flows as rain and your death knell starts thrumming.
So watch out for bleach wipes, it’s your devastation,
For then we can cry, ‘C diff is dead!’ with great jubilation!
OOhhhh darn C Diff you’ve infected another!
I am only so glad it wasn’t my mother.
Stay away! Be gone! As the sun before rain.
In all of our bowels you’re such a huge pain
When you enter C Diff Isolation
Be sure to wear gown and gloves, it’s not a vacation.
Spreading C Diff causes diarrhea
For this, hand washing is the best idea.
When you leave C Diff Isolation
Be sure to wash with long duration.
C diff only goes away with careful scrubbing
So makes sure your soap does lots of bubbling.