Hold Your IV

That IV you say, no way to keep it?
I will make sure that you do I commit.
That Doc ordered it, it has to stay
I feel unfortunately that your opinion will not sway.
So I wrap and wrap and wrap away,
That Kerlex will unlikely hold you at bay.

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Urine Dread

Please, oh please don’t wet the bed
It’s such a pain, one all nurses dread
Use the bedpan or a urinal
Simply peeing the bed is just criminal

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Slow Discharge

Discharge is not ready,
Yes I know the Doc said you are free already!
However, I have paperwork to do for you
So please hold up and I will soon be through

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Don’t Touch that IV!

Oh fine patient what a pleasure it was
To wrap your IV with three rolls of gauze.
Don’t pull it or touch it or even looks its way
That IV you have needs to stay!

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Security Stat

Security please come this patients gone crazy
I swear its not me being angry or lazy.
They’re kicking and throwing and all out of sorts
The way they are looking, I might mess my shorts.

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No Time to Micturate

Holy cow you need to wait,
I don’t have time for you to micturate.
So cross your legs or jump up and down,
Just please wait a second I’ll be around

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Telemetry Punch

Telemetry,
How I would like to punch thee
Your beep and you boop,
It happens again and again in a loop
Today I think I’ll give you my boot

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Take your Aspirin!

Strokes are no jokes, not even funny
They can crush a spirit or cost lots of money,
So please dear sir, take your aspirin
It will go better for you and keep you long lastin’

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