Please when you defecate in your bed
Keep it contained, don’t let it spread.
I mean, It’s not like you pooping flowers
It’s more like logs of terror from the butt of Bowser
More like a mudslide in Indonesia
It makes me hate Milk of Magnesia.
So avoid it I shall for Mario I am not
I’d much rather before a drug test, smoke pot.
For playing with stool is for the crazy patients,
Definitely not for men who want good female relations.
Its like climbing a wall without Spider Man powers
Or tying your shoes for hours and hours.
Its like eating ten bowls of flaming hot curry
Or trying to convince OJ’s grand jury.
Its like riding a bike with two flat tires
Or doing jumping jacks near open wires.
Its like cutting yarn with safety scissors
Or running naked in a cold dark blizzard.
Tired of working long hours without help
Tired of yelling and crying with yelps.
Tired of filing unsafes and complaints
Tired of acting always like saints.
Tired of running harder than a dog
Tired of making decisions from a fog.
Tired of caring for those who don’t care
Tired of acting like things are always fair
We need to get help or find a new jobs
Otherwise we may all turn into a lynch mob.
Please give us better staffing!!!
About this I am surely not laughing.
You are so very terrible Ebola
More annoying than my sore molar
My dream is that you don’t make my patients sick
Or I would be isolated faster than an ugly chick
Like a sword in the hand of a master
Does Lovenox lay out clots to immense disaster.
WIth one swipe it stops Factor Xa from thrombin.
It keeps us clot free like riches to poor does robin.
Don’t despair Lovenox, you are much needed
With you clots despair and their loss is conceded.
Bed bugs are much like gum on my shoe
Awful and ugly like old cold fondue.
I wish I could kill them with mace or a knife
Sadly they have a lengthy shelf life.
They sit and they wait for darkness to set
And spring on those unaware and upset.
Like Tiggers from fairy tales they bounce all around
And follow you swiftly like a trusty blood hound.
Tired nurse will work for bacon:
Walking and walking, oh my feet hurt
I feel I’ve aged 20 years and live in a yurt.
It’s always so painful to be on my feet
For 14 hours and never have a seat.
At least the shifts almost over
And I can rest my dogs, one I even named Rover.
So I lift ’em up, relax and recline
Perhaps next thing I’ll do is eat greasy strips of swine.
SCDs are King and Lovenox Queen
Of the land they reign that is DVT clean.
‘Clot clean!’ is their motto, one for all to hear.
Its one all clots should fear, a land they should never be near.
For if clots set foot in Clot Cleanville they will surely be lysed
As C diff after the use of many bleach wipes.
So nurses, create for your patients a Clot Clean life
For they will be merry and enjoy much less strife.
SCDs like the lord of the land,
They squash out clots before they can even stand.
Like small critters running, clots disappear
For SCDs keep watch like a burly musketeer.
‘Pump, Pump, Pump!’ SCDs repeat
as they prepare to crush every DVT they meet.
The countdown begins like New Years Eve,
Twelve more hours until we can leave.
Gone will be 17, the one who won’t stop yelling
Who many patients wish the nurses would STAT start quelling.
Gone will be the family that won’t stop asking questions
The one I really just want to give a four letter suggestion.
Soon I will be free as a hind upon the mountain top
Hoping the next three days off will never end or stop.