My patient! You almost died! Your tele rang off and sent nurses a fly! Heart stopped and lungs stalled we started pumping your chest as ones enthralled with the thrill of the moment of saving a life, one we don’t get in this world of strife.
Pump, pump we pumped away! Like reindeer working at Santas sleigh. Alarms were ringing, doctors yelling. Come back would you? There was no way of telling. Sudden in the quiet moment, when the air was still and success at foment you came back to life, a daisy out the snow, like a phoenix born anew you filled with life aglow!
Off to the unit you were rushed, and in your place left a quiet hush of an empty room of a life just saved, together, nurses goodbye we waved.
What lives we live as nurses Our many days off with fat full purses. To do that though we must be brave. We must daily pull on trousers and slave To clean all the poop from head to toe From Betty to George and John to Joe.
It’s not easy what we do everyday. Not a break do we get if something’s astray. “More coffee! More pills! My mom needs a bath!” Its with each morning we trudge this winding warpath. With smiles on faces and great counterparts We bravely enjoy this work in our hearts.
I feel like I just broke a world record for staying on my feet for the longest time in a day. I feel like Dansko got revenge on me and filled my shoes with cement. I feel like I just did yoga in an automatic car wash between the scrubbing spinny brushes. I feel like I spent 12 hours on a medieval rack with a scorned lover at the cranks. I feel like I roller skated for the first time in 15 years with teens listening to blaring Celine Dion. I feel like I did the first 3 days of P90X at once. I feel like a crazed Italian dragged my legs through a noodle maker. I feel like I just had to push 10 syringes of D50 in a row. I feel like my entire team was made up of gremlins on amphetamines.
Hey there FRIEND! You are terrible at putting on restraints You know, on the guy that ain’t acting like a jolly saint? So now he pulled out his central line and has blood flowing out like the river Rhine. What the heck!? How hard is it tying ONE knot? Its just a loop with a loose end that plops. I want to scream, its the end of my shift And now I have to deal with this rift! Next time, think before you leave the room, “What actions do I take so the nurse doesn’t fume?”
Bed bugs are much like gum on my shoe Awful and ugly like old cold fondue. I wish I could kill them with mace or a knife Sadly they have a lengthy shelf life. They sit and they wait for darkness to set And spring on those unaware and upset. Like Tiggers from fairy tales they bounce all around And follow you swiftly like a trusty blood hound.
Walking and walking, oh my feet hurt I feel I’ve aged 20 years and live in a yurt. It’s always so painful to be on my feet For 14 hours and never have a seat. At least the shifts almost over And I can rest my dogs, one I even named Rover. So I lift ’em up, relax and recline Perhaps next thing I’ll do is eat greasy strips of swine.
I am so frustrated that you are unhappy Your family member could die and all you care about are things stupid and crappie. I talk to doctors, push IV meds, take their vitals umpteen times And all you do is point out the dirt on the floor as if it were a crime Well I am so sad to report that while saving their life My skills as a housekeeper were slightly under strife