Nursing School’s Joy is the End

Finishing semesters in school is the best feeling
Like a pig in the mud, I just might start squealing!
No more papers to write or things to turn in
Or crappy assignments from crap to gold I spin.
Soon I will rest and in the quietness caress
The thought that one day school will be over
And I will into the workforce crossover.
I will turn into Scrooge, hoarding my money
My disposition will be so much brighter and sunny.
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Sickening C Diff

C diff runs like a river wide
Swallowing healthy bowels in large stride.
For me, just makes me gag,
It smells like 10 rats dead in a bag.
So vomit I do, a bit in my throat
And try not to look seasick like on a boat.
My patient asks “What’s wrong with you nurse?”
And I simply smile and try to converse.
So C diff I hope this Vanco kills you
I’ll be first in line to wish you ‘Adieu!’

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Patho is Painful

is like walking through sand,
It’s the toughest subject in all the land.
After we’re through we’ll be smart eggs
Our brain will be full like we drank four kegs.
 
So keep studying it’s so good for you nurse,
Soon you’ll see reason and not be averse.
As pathology is so important in practice
With it’s knowledge you’ll keep your license blackless.
 
 
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Saving Lives is Hard Work!

My patient!  You almost died!
Your tele rang off and sent nurses a fly!
Heart stopped and lungs stalled
we started pumping your chest as ones enthralled
with the thrill of the moment of saving a life,
one we don’t get in this world of strife.

Pump, pump we pumped away!
Like reindeer working at Santas sleigh.
were ringing, doctors yelling.
Come back would you?  There was no way of telling.
Sudden in the quiet moment,
when the air was still and success at foment
you came back to life, a daisy out the snow,
like a phoenix born anew you filled with life aglow!

Off to the unit you were rushed,
and in your place left a quiet hush
of an empty room of a life just saved,
together, nurses goodbye we waved.

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Wonderful Lives as Nurses

What lives we live as nurses
Our many days off with fat full purses.
To do that though we must be brave.
We must daily pull on trousers and slave
To clean all the poop from head to toe
From Betty to George and John to Joe.

It’s not easy what we do everyday.
Not a break do we get if something’s astray.
“More coffee! More pills! My mom needs a bath!”
Its with each morning we trudge this winding warpath.
With smiles on faces and great counterparts
We bravely enjoy this work in our hearts.

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How Do Nurses Feel After Working a Long Hard Shift?

I feel like I just broke a world record for staying on my feet for the longest time in a day.
I feel like Dansko got revenge on me and filled my shoes with cement.
I feel like I just did yoga in an automatic car wash between the spinny brushes.
I feel like I spent 12 hours on a medieval rack with a scorned lover at the cranks.
I feel like I roller skated for the first time in 15 years with teens listening to blaring Celine Dion.
I feel like I did the first 3 days of P90X at once.
I feel like a crazed Italian dragged my legs through a noodle maker.
I feel like I just had to push 10 syringes of D50 in a row.
I feel like my entire team was made up of gremlins on amphetamines.

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Please, Tie the Restrains Right!

Hey there FRIEND!  You are terrible at putting on
You know, on the guy that ain’t acting like a jolly saint?
So now he pulled out his central line
and has blood flowing out like the river Rhine.
What the heck!?  How hard is it tying ONE knot?
Its just a loop with a loose end that plops.
I want to scream, its the end of my shift
And now I have to deal with this rift!
Next time, think before you leave the room,
“What actions do I take so the nurse doesn’t fume?”

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